No More 'Good Enough' Thinking.

Hey guys!

Just got my final secondary level exam results.
Its not that I am ashamed of what I got for it.
Seems like my mother is.

To me, the result is good enough.
I don't mind telling the world or my cousins or aunt my result.
But still, let it be mine to keep to myself.
Both of my cousins of the same age received excellent result.
No Cs.

Anyways, I am a disappointment.
No one has to spell it out to me for me to know.
If I'm back at home, I could see her displeased look on her face.

YOU SAID NOT TO COMPARE WITH OTHERS BUT YOU'RE THE ONE DOING IT!

Uhm...
Went off topic for a moment there.
Anyway, I kept telling that everything I do is good enough.
I'm stopping myself from thinking this way.

Now I would think this,
'I could do better'
Cause I can.
If I truly give an effort to the exam,
Straight As would be a breeze.
Cause, last minute study got me Bs for the one I always fail on.
Except for that other one that want 'perfect' answer.

Hey, I do not failed any.

My school just have a very high standards.
So much that its annoying but it what makes us the best.

One more thing is,
CONGRATULATIONS to Justin for being the only one from my class to receive a straight A!!!

Oh well, that is all from me.

New Year Resolution.

Hey guys,
So....
A New Year must have a resolution, right?
[I don't exactly know what it means but I get the idea].


Here's mine.


"Let it FLOWS"


That is all from me, 

eanaa is signing out from this post 

The End

Dream Boy...

Readers please read !!

I had a dream,

A dream where I met a my dream boy.

I do not know who he is...

but the story begins at a track games.

I dreamt I was taller than my friends.

but that dream stop when I woke up.

Sleeping again,

the scene this time change.

I was in a mall.

A new mall that just newly build.

[Used to dream about malls like it but this is different].

He was there.

He is my Ex-boyfriend in the dream.

We went there together.

It was so crowded.

Suddenly he told me he has something he got to do.

He left and so I felt lonely.

I went all around the mall.

I wanted to buy things but felt bored.

I arrived the game area.

Played with my elementary classmate

[His name is Hafis b.t.w].

I remembered my ex.

I told my ex-classmate that the two of them should play.

Told him we could invite Izi too.

Then I left.

I saw the cinema hasn't open yet.

It will open at 9th.

I checked my watch and it is still 7th.

Then he[the boy] came to me.

I finally told him honestly that I like him["Still do" actually].

He grab my hand and never let go.

I talk to him about lots of things.

He kept on walking while holding my hands.

Then we took the stairs.

I saw my old crush [Not Lance] ...

He glance at the two of us.

Then he left unsatisfied by what he saw.

I felt happy.

Then I woke up...

I guess I want my dream boy to never let me go huh...

Well, I am single right now though.

P/s: I had this dream because I miss you Farhan :|

Stupidest Confession EVER

Hey readers,
before we get to the main point,
Today we [The SM St Columba's Students]
had an assembly on celebrating 
Mdm Tan Mee Lan's retirement from teaching us.


There was a LOT of talk.
And yeah, I did not listen to them.
I read the book called "Linger".
I will post about the story someday.


Mdm Tan Mee Lan wanted to retire on 11/11/2011
She also wants to get out of school officially at 11:11 AM.
And did just that.
She is a very inspiring person.


Now back to the tittle :
Stupidest Confession EVER.


So here it goes,
I asked for Cecilia's help.
Of course she said yes.
When the moment came,
I got so nervous and told her nevermind...


Then the cruelest thing she did to me is,
she hold me and won't let me go home.
She even ask Rinnie [I don't know correct spelling]
to hold on to me.


Cecilia pulled Lancelot and he was like ...
then she told him I have something to tell.
He turn his ears to me and I said,
"ummm...[a pause] I like you"
and he just smile and nod.


Rinnie was Like "What?!"
oh mann.. and I told her to let me go.
She gripped me hard that time you know...
So I ran away and went to GCM.
Rode with my mother and go.

That is all from me, 

eanaa is signing out from this post 

The End

Psshhh .. Secrets huh?

Hey guys,
I just thought that I want to write.
The topic came last minute.

Secrets ...
Everyone has one.
I have more than one.
I can give one away.
Wanna know?
I like a guy name Lancelot .
Pshh .. Not a secret anymore huh?

So,
Do you tell anyone your secrets?
The usual choice is your best friend.
Let me tell me you something.
Best Friend can be lies lies lies.
They are your enemy sometimes.
Just like the saying,
"Keep your friend close,
Your enemy closer".

Now,
I have another secret to tell,
I'm a huge fan of a certain genre of a manga.
Sorry,
Not strong enough to tell you.
(don't think it's "mature" and stuff ewww...)
Well,
I guess I just want you to know,
if you want to tell someone,
make sure you know their secret first :)

That's kind of a stupid advice.
but it works right?

That's it. See ya. Don't wanna be ya !

We haven't cross path .

Did you know ?
If a couple does not cross path with each other,
Sooner or later ..
They'll break up.


Well in my case.
We're not dating.
We're only acquaintance.
We're barely know one another.
But after so many years.


This year we kept passing by,
each other day by day.
Seriously...


You already in my heart once.
You already in my mind
You already in my dream a while back.
You already make me nuts before.
You already in my letters.


Now ..
Where do you wanna be ?


Enough is enough ...
I need a break from you.

=-= Avoid ? No. Annoyed ? Maybe. =-=

Yesterday[Saturday, 23rd Apr 2011],
I went to school for culinary arts.
Being active in scout probably next year.
I arrived to school around 9.


We made a chocolate cupcake 
And also Sushi.
It was good..
I had fun too helping out.
Except for the cleaning parts.


I went out and wait near the hall 
around 12.20 like that.
He was there ..
Practicing ... Good luck with that.
As I waited 
I listened to my mp3 player with 
the volume good enough for me to hear 
but I can still hear noises
[peeps talk and etc.]


He finished at 12.30.
Goin' home using his motor.
His things was at the next table 
to the right of where I stand.
I heard them talking 
but I didn't pay attention much.


I was Facebook-ing using my phone.
I think his friend saw me doing that 
since his friend was behind me.
I got annoyed by 
"Why haven't you[him] gone home?"
"Where's dad anyway?"
my monologue.


I stop online and called home.
Big bro answered.
I try to keep my voice lowered.
Since I always talk too loud.
I ignored them completely.
Went out . then .
Dad arrived ..
He also went home.


I forgot my bottle 
so dad turn around.
I took it 
and went home.


The end.


It's just that I don't give a damn too much about you but I still write about you. My feelings won't fade I guess.

=-= Your Polices are Annoying =-=

He got himself a 'police'.
For What?!
What else??
To check on me..
Just like I used to do it to him.


I used to like him but
 it seemed useless to give him my heart.
I don't mind that I fell for him,
my only problem is that
 I don't love him anymore but
 he doesn't seemed like he get the massage.


I got P.E today,
it was before recess too.
I was lazy to go upstairs to my class
 so I waited while Karen buy food.
Me and Sharon talk by the sink in the canteen.
My view toward 5L3 & 5L4 corridor were pretty clear.


He went out of his class when
 Arantxia stand next to my left.
I could see he was staring but
 I pretended that I didn't notice.
I continued talking to Sharon and
 turned to Arantxia while glance at him.
Karen came toward us and stand next to my right.
I noticed Karen looked slightly upward 
but I didn't care at first.


Suddenly Karen slightly jumped.
I mean shocked y'know.
So she told me he was staring at us.
I was RIGHT !
Those two returned each other looked.
When that happened,
He walked away went to 5L4 I think.
When Karen said "atas" I looked up.
His friend was looking.
I pretend like I didn't care.
I told Karen that I did saw him actually.
Haha.
Karen, I didn't realize the you looked at him that time.


I hanged down for a while with Felicia.
We went to see his cousin who's a form 3.
I went up after that..


P/S ; If YOU are reading this ! Ha ! This is what I think of you !! Stop your Polices A.S.A.P ! [this is for "him" in this story]

2 Troubled Days . 1 Happiest Day .

On Wednesday and Thursday
I couldn't see my knight in shining armor
actually not that much.
He was so busy with the exhibit
Yet I don't mind
I't not like I'm in love with him..
I just like him with his own way.


Yesterday was almost heaven on earth !
I waited for the culinary arts to start
I waited at the canteen because I want to eat.
While I was eating.
He is right in front of me !
Damn he so delicious.


He was there a while
but since I've never stare at him too much.
I almost felt like exploding.
It was over capacity !
I hope I'm not falling in love with him
plus my heart still longing for that idiotic person.


Well, at least I know
which prefect I'm gonna be
head over heels for next year !


Next year that idiotic fool won't be around !
Whooooo !!!!
Finally I can learn to let go
actually I'm already immune
from falling all over again
with that idiotic person of course .


Anyways, Thanks for reading and This is Me !

The Knight .

There's someone I like

It only started a month ago tough ..

He is totally my type !

My problem is ..

Somehow lately..

he look at me in a weird way ..

How to say ..

He seriously notice me !

That barely happen on the first month !

For your information ..

I don't even do my stalk-ish way with him !

How can he know ?!

Hey ..

probably it is nothing ..

Oh , by the way

He is the candidate for the prefect .

Can't wait to see him in the prefect's uniform !

[Seriously, I have a prefect's uniform fetish .]

I wish he hold a tittle higher than normal school prefects.

I like him but I only noticed he existed this year.

Ahh , hope he wouldn't notice my feelings.

Tried so hard not to smile as I pass by his class.

So happy that I could pass his class everyday !

I hope that he is kind-hearted as he is good-looking .

He really smart ..

I'm not sure that much but one thing I know

he is in the almost front class .. haha ..

Just so you know ,

I don't really like him as much as I liked cookhie .

but at least every time I pass his class..

The one that I'm avoiding wouldn't be in my mind.

To you whom I like ,

I hope you still haven't notice I like you.

Because if you do , I'll ask you this

"What are you ?! Psychic ?"

The reason is because ..

I'm not in my stalker mode with you .

So how could you notice it early ?

Sincerely, eanaa .

=-= Don't Lemme Think Twice =-=

As time pass by,
When I do something then think again,
My work shall never finish.


I kept thinking like this,
"Should I be in the Science Stream or not".
Then the other one is this,
"Shall I stay here any longer or not ?"
I don't like it...


I don't think I can really let out what I feel ..
I'm going to counseling to reconsider EVERYTHING.


xXThis is MeXx

A heartache .

.

You know it's love when the pain is bitter yet sweet.
I never knew such feeling existed until you appear.
I fell for you at the first sight.
You kept me going on with this bitter sweet pain.

You and Your Ego

Sometimes it hurts so much,
I wished it'll go away , far away.
I have my wish.
It's gone and I miss that feeling.
You are my first love now and ever.
It had been said that girls shant never forget their first love.
So I knew it's true and I felt like I wanna fall for you again.
But I'm afraid your ego is in the way.


I know I'm the type that goes with the flow.
And I can tell your the type to play hard to get.
So we're pretty much perfect for this game.
But I'm the girl here.
I can't be the one who's chasing
I want to be felt like I'm being chased.
I want to be chased instead of chasing.
Just once, won't you ever try chasing me instead of looking at me like an idiot ?


All of this giving me a heartache.
It's been like this since forever.

Heartache

I don't think I have feelings for you but still
I am going with your flow.
Next year you'll be gone.
I'll be here for only 2 more years and I'll say bye bye.
It hurts so much but yet I want more.
Can you at least tell me you feel the same way as I do? 
because I don't have the intention to be with you.
I don't like dating guys that I like.


Please,
Just this once.
I wanna hear you.
Hear you say those 3 words.
3 cute little words.
'I like you'.

>_< A Dream About You >_<

Last night I dreamt of you.
A dream where me and my family except for my brothers
went to a shops in a village.
You were there wearing your prefect jacket with your friend.
Doing something, an assignment I guess.
Suddenly I saw you talking to my parents.
You were holding a paper.
Then, I went to the car and sit next to the driver seat.
My mom was in front of the steering wheel.
And I noticed you were at the passenger seat. [what the..]
I ask my mom why are you there.
but I don't remember what she said.
I think it was something like you we are giving him a ride home.
I still remember that I was annoyed by it too.
The rear view mirror shows your reflection.
I couldn't see your face that well since it was dark.
You didn't wear your jacket any more.
I remember pretending to be asleep but
occasionally, I opened my eye to look at your reflection.


My mom woke me up to get ready for school.
I told her I have a headache so she let me go back to sleep.


This time,
I was doing the laundry with few people.
Suddenly someone suggest we go out.
I was annoyed by it because the laundry haven't finished yet.
But since everyone agrees..
Everyone left so it's me and my family left.
I enter the car late since I'm trying to do the laundry
but I let it go...


When I enter the car.
It was a 6 seater car.
You were sitting next to my little sis at the 5th & 6th seat behind.
I was kind of annoyed again.
We went to the same place again.
And I was looking at the brooches and necklace.
Suddenly you pulled me because you were mad?
not mad at me tough.
and then I'm not sure how the story goes after that.
but You smirk when I show you 
the big heart shape necklace the I was holding.
What ?! 


Then I woke up..


I don't get it..
Are you going to meet my family or
I'm going to get close to you ?
Since I'm already annoyed by you.
I guess you managed to be in my dream .
That Sux !

You Are A Drug

Like the song title of Secondhand serenade's song, 
'You are a drug' seemed the right word to describe you.
I was so obsess with you but now no.
I still like you I do.
But after I ignore you,
You miss me ?
I'm sorry , so it was fun having someone to like you?
Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm the kind of girl who preferred my crushes last.
So I don't date my crush.
It's not like you're gonna say anything.
You wan me to let go of my ego and say it right?
90% of guys like to be asked by girls instead of them asking themselves.
Since your not in the 10%,
I'll just say "Hasta La Vista".


I like you then I hate you but the circle continues.

Well , lets get back to the main topic.
You were a drug to me and I was so addicted to you.
But now that I have quit you.
The temptation kept coming back.
Stop doing that.
It's dangerous.
I might get addicted again.
I'm using a past tense.
Can't you see ?
I'm afraid to fall for you again.
A friend ask me to say it to you face-to-face.
Seriously dear, I don't have that much confident.
I dislike getting rejected and I'm afraid I'm still going to lose you.
Couples do break up in time.


Hey, how about these.
We will meet again during our university year.
Then fall in love.
If it doesn't last.
We were never meant to be.


I have to let you go to see will you come back.
Now, it's your turn to do so.

=-= Trouble is You =-=

Just one day ..
Only one , you did something to me
but just that one day ..
effect me for a week !!

Oh please !!
What do you want ?!
You've always ignored my existence.
What?
During school holiday you miss me ?
See lot's of girls that you thought was me?

During the time I'm taking my PMR result..
You were waiting for me??
Is that it?
That's why you talk to your friend who in the other class booth?
Or you were bored since you didn't get assigned at any booth?

All because you miss me during holiday?
I don't know if it's true but still !
Two whole years I liked you.
But NO !
You ignore my existence.

Now WHAT?
You want me to give you an attention like I used to?
 Enough is enough...
You think it wasn't a big deal ..
But to me it is ..

Please .. My trouble is you .
 Stop it ..
I beg you ..

=-= Dind't Expect You There =-=

Like usual , I have normal day ..
Normal things ..
Homework ...
but ...
You changes the day just by looking at me.

The story begins;

After the last bell rang,
I went to .. erm..
Well , the ladies room to you-know-what .
Because I drank too much.
Mum told me to use the public bus today ..
So I took my time to go home.
I thank Sofea for taking care of my bag while I'm in the ladies room.
I saw a friend of his but I ignore his friend existence there.
I walk towards the GCM.
Usually I wait there but now I have to walk to central bus stop.
I wasn't shock seeing him there[he already opened his coat]
Suddenly, He noticed me and look straight at me.
I pretend that I don't see him and look behind me to check on the road.
[I need to cross over].
He must have thought that I would pass him but !
I'm glad mum ask me to use the bus.
I don't need to pass him because I'm not waiting at GCM ~


The end.


Well , since he barely notice my existence before last year..
It made me think why would he stare at me.
Oh P/S; I have a self conscious problem.
I really hate when people stare at me.
He made me uneasy and think about him. ARGH !


I don't think I like him anymore !
Do I ?


xXThis Is MeXx

xX Moment of truth Xx

Dear Chocolate,

Yes , I do remember the first time I saw you and yes, it is true it was a stupid love at first sight. I still remember asking Eydah who are you. I still remember that the first time I laid eyes on you, I saw no one but you. You were reading . >_< So darn cute !

During the holidays , I remember crying because I miss you so much. I remember that I was addicted to you that's why I call you 'chocolate'. It hurt so bad when I didn't see you , say your name , dream of you ..

I remember when I first walk in school for the first day in my form 2 year , the person in my mind was you. Wanting to meet you even though you're in the morning sessions.

I remember when I miss you so bad I get moody and depress but you kept me going to school and study just to see you. I remember Antie ebiey told me when I didn't get to see you I get moody but when you're there I'm too shy too look at you.

But You !

When I don't have feelings for you , you kept appearing . You kept me hangin' . I don't understand. Just leave me alone . My heart is no longer yours . And I just want to fall for someone else. Someone who could love me back when you didn't .

Yes, You were my first love . I would never be able to forget that I loved you . So they say that first love could never be yours. So I moved on . Thank you for all those inspiration you gave me and kept me from not skipping school. I loved you and I'm grateful because meeting you changed my way.

=-= Too Afraid Too Fall =-=

 I know I still want him .

I miss the days when he felt like a drug to me .

I was really addicted to him.

Just with his face made my day .

I still remember the first time I saw him .

He was sitting , reading . His friend was standing looking down, talking to him.

It was like everything else doesn't matter . 

I only saw him..

When your friend does the same thing , you know that the other person has the same feeling because every friend are the same.

Teasing their friend one of the fun in being together.

His friends tease him, I heard they say "who is that" in a teasing tone.

They know that he has a feeling but I am not sure .

I am afraid that I misread his signals .

But still , when I was in love .

Drugged with love by him .

My friend a.k.a my aunt , she always says "who is that" in teasing tone.

Is it his feeling are the same as mine back then?

My new schedule, We're going to lab everyday.

That means I have to pass by his class everyday.

But I'm afraid ..

Is he making fun of my feeling since this is his last year in school?

maybe I should take the long way to the lab .

-end-

xX Messing with my Feelings ? Xx

My first love whom I like from form 1 till form 3 . Last year in the middle of the year , I stopped liking him for some reason but .. at that moment suddenly I liked a guy whom looked just like him . but now it is not like I feel anything anymore for him nor for that guy . 

During the holidays , I haven't gotten out that much until late of the end of year holiday . I went to school to take my pmr slip . He was there because he is my senior and my school's prefect . my class was T3 , he was at T7 table to take the slip . He wasn't siting but facing his friend , talking . So I went to the table of my class but on the way , his friend talk to him and he looked at me . When I got to the table , I subconsciously looked over where he was with my eyes . After I finished taking them . I talked to my mom . Then he went to his father , plus his brother the same age as mine meaning that his little brother also taking the slip . When my family were on our way out the gate . My brother made a joke and got hit by my mom [ a teasing hit ] . I laugh .. Without looking at him , I noticed he suddenly looked at me .

Well This year , my class is below his . Well this where the trouble started . When ever I was around , he would look at me . His friends would tell me if I was there but sometimes no . His younger brother also liked to look at me for some reason now !

Plus , When I went to the lab I would have to go pass his class . Then a few days ago , I was on my way to the lab to learn Chemistry , I heard his friend calling his name again and again . Then after the chemistry ended , He was loitering outside the lab . Some of the students got out first and even talked to him . I don't even know why he was out there . When I got out of the lab , he suddenly walked behind me but he let the girls from my class walk behind me and he walked behind them . How do I know ? because I hear his footstep after I got out and also a friend of his from his next door class called his name to talked to him . What was that ?!

I don't like it if he is toying with my feeling but oh well , let me just 'perasaan sendiri' that I have a good-looking senior prefect admirer !

xX My Prince Charming Xx

Every girls dream is to finally meet their prince charming. Well for me my prince charming is really really hard to find. He must be taller than me. Sometimes I want him to have blue eyes. aha . He also must be smart . Kind . Sweet . but still not a sweet talker . I hate that . I don't care if he diligent or whatever . as long as he loves me . aha .

Weird dream for a girl like me . Anyways . I don't want to meet a guy like that . Because surely he'll ruin my sweet sweet dream about my Prince Charming .