Nightmares

Living became a nightmare,
Living became scary thing to do,
All I want is a way to escape this nightmare,
even for a little bit.

Let me live inside my dream,
My safe place,
They may give me hollow hug,
They may give me my own advice,
but they can never hurt me.

I have a favourite place,
In my dream,
where I would talk to one of them,
But somehow,
I rarely see it any more.

I'm too scared.
Nightmare is everywhere.

Is anyone out there?
Can anyone save me?
Please, please...
save me...

Standing Alone

Hey Readers,

You gonna hate me for making this post. 

Once again, I am utterly depressed. 

Its 12am and I really want to call my mother. 

To tell her I want to quit studying. 

To tell her I cant handle this. 

To tell her I never wanted to study. 

To tell her I hate interacting with human involving emotions 

I am suit for this course only because I would do what my job needs me to. 

I socialize when needed. 

I hate others. I hate humans. 

I once said 'I would like to write a letter to those I care and just disappear'

There was only one person in my mind. 

It was my mum. 

I want to let her know. To tell her not to worry. I'll be fine, I just need sometime alone. 

I wont write to my friends. 

I cant really cry to anyone. 

Searching my phone for a number. 

The effort all went in vain. 

I called my high school friend but she's so far. 

She can't help me.

I cried to Allah but He's not replying me. 

Oh Allah, I am just a mere slave. 

You create me with a feeling that I need someone's warmth. 

But none are giving it to me. 

I know, tawakkal. Allah is there for you. 

But Allah wont give me the warmth I need. 

The pat in my head telling me I've done good. 

He would be watchig as I try to get through this. 

Am I able to?

I am standing alone with Allah as my watcher, protector and guider. 

There are times when I feel that Allah is the only one that loves me and cares for me. 

Where is my other half?

Where is my saviour?

Where is my salvation?

I do not even love myself...

I can handle the stress. 

But I cannot handle it when someone makes it seems as if I am not doing anything. 

As if I am at fault. 

Yes, I admit, I delay in doing everythig. 

But because I do not handle stress well. 

This is the moments I need my mother most. 

But I do not want to disturb her. 

Its late. And ...

November Sick Days - Happy day

Hello Everyone,

Hope you all in a great health.

At school,

We play my little sister's Hangman

Man, I suck !

After school,

My mum brought the two of us,

Me and little sister,

to her office.

I slept in the office,

feeling comfy cause of the air-con.

I woke up right before we were leaving.

Since the two of us are sick.

We go to Harmoni Clinic.

When we arrive home,

talking talking talking,

Then, there is a phone call.

My mother answered it.

They want to talk to me.

I was curious whom.

I answered it.

It was for the job application I sent !

Her name is Sofia,

and she asks me to go in to the interview.

On Tuesday 2.30p.m.

Oh wow !

So yeah,

I am going for the interview.

Mum coincidentally have a day off.

So now,

the sick days are a happy day now.

Wish me luck and all the best ya'all !!


P/s : Ih8 Is , I wanna tell 'im first but nooo... He was ASLEEP !

That is all from me, 

eanaa is signing out from this post 

The End

My Bad Friend = Flu.

Hye beloved stalkers and visitors,
Well you all read yesterday's post.


For your information,
it has gotten worse .
My throat itch so bad,
my eyes sometimes got teary ,
and water dripping ... [no need to know more].
I am so disliking my new friend.
Flu is such a bad friend.
Why must come during fasting?
I have no mood to do anything.
I feel so gross .
Hope Flu will go away soon.
Bought him a ticket out already.
Just the date hasn't been set.
So say goodbye Flu !
My immune system will fight ya !
Oh one more thing,
I don't eat medicine...
I eat it when I am fed up with this.
Medicine = drugs ,
so don't go telling me,
I have to eat some medicine.
Just give me some herb,
maybe a ginseng ...
I never taste it ~~~


P/s : Going counseling tomorrow. Accompanying a friend.


Bye guys , Thanks for reading !

Flu + Language .

 Readers,


I caught myself a flu .
At first,
I thought it was just ,
a morning flu.
Then it got worse again .
And disappear.
And reappear.


It has been a while,
since I caught a flu .
I really hate flu more than coughs .
Headache is not a stranger anymore.
I'm cool with it.
Flu oh flu...
Please... Release me .

I probably caught this because
Yesterday,
they burn the cutted grass.
Just outside my classroom.
I can't breath polluted air !
Curse you !


In school,
I have been learning Chinese.
Not listening but talking.
When I listen,
I became blur.
So I'm learning how to talk.
Not write .
Hanyu is a very hard writing.
I get confuse easily .
So talk is already hard enough.
I learned new things .


It's fun to have Chinese friend ,
and it's more fun when they teach you.
For appreciation I say thanks to :
Esther Pui [you thought me in Form 1];
Michelle Ting [oso in Form 1];
Aubrey Yong [in Form 1, since you sit behind me];
Ngu Seng Long [correct ka ? sit behind me too];
Karen Tan [I remember I asked about "da ge"(form 1)];
Elroy Bryan [oso about brother(form 1)];
Theresa Wui [correcting my spelling(not in Hanyu)];
Song Pui Ing [I think so? but I will sooner or later ask you ma];
Liong Swee Fang [Sometimes when Suen Ying not around :)];
Loo Suen Ying [For majority of it all].


Oh wait,
forgot these boys:
Chng Siong Yaw [correcting the meaning];
Desmond Lee [you realise it was wrong first];
Fabian Chong [not really but still for "hao lian"]


'Hao Lian' oso counted as helping ?
haha !
It's an insulting word.
It means "Show off person".


But still,
I've learn about 35 words?
including "wo", "ni" and "ai".
The simple one. . .
I want more !!


That it.. Bye !


Ehhh !! Eric oso . Thanks !!
It was about the meaning of a song name.
"bu de bu ai" = "tak boleh tak cinta"

Resting While Worrying.

Good Morning Readers  ,


I am currently resting .
Watching Some Bleach  
Still I am worried about the Essay competition.
Wish me all the best  .
The drama is going smoothly with the help of my cousin,
Aiman but seriously ,
He is SO not helping.
The essay "Karangan 1 Malaysia" is not being process yet.
But will do in A.S.A.P .
I have join 1 competition so far  .
2 more to go.
Choral Speaking Writing Competition,
Nevermind .. S'all good .
I don't get the format or it's process.

Brain Hurting .

Holiday is here for a week but still I don't think there is enough time for me to recover. I have to start doing homework ! Oh my GOD !


To my dearest teacher , if my head exploded , I don't blame the homework but I hope you'll feed my pet !


Homework for the holiday;

1. Mathematics
2. Physics
3. Bahasa Melayu
4. English

I think there's more but .. Let just rest my brain thinking there is only 4 subject with LOTS of exercise in it .

xX Insomnia Xx

The night before my first day , I could not sleep at all , I was awake even until I got home . Even though it was only happened 2 night before this night but now I'm lacking sleep . I felt like having a hangover . I even slept for an hour or more yesterday afternoon after I got home from school . Today I could not sleep at the afternoon because just like yesterday , I arrived home a little late than usual . I did my chores and now it's maghrib . How can I sleep ? I still have a homework to be done . At least it's only Math not yet Add Math . Cikgu Su Ling , why do you love giving us homework so much like Cikgu Kong last year ? I'm so tired ! 

end

^o^ Not Enough Sleep ^o^

Lately, I haven't gotten myself enough sleep. I couldn't even sleep till late midnight. My eyes are swollen because I need to wake up early. Not that early though. If I could, I can sleep without ever waking up. I am so lazy to wake up and get off of my bed. Every time I woke up, I would still lay on my bed but could not get back to sleep. Unless if I woke up in the middle of the night though. Lately, I could not sleep properly and it is killing me.. Soon, I have to go to school. Ahh, never mind. I could still see my friends. Friends?! Oh yeah, I forgot, they aren't really my friend anyways. Just classmate ey? I am so not hoping anything from them. Just a waste of my time. Oh oh. I want to dream about ehem ehem but I could not manage to do so. I am sure it will happen soon enough. I hope I can sleep properly. My eyes doesn't even need an eye-shadow cause it has a black circle !~End~*Eanaa Luv Coklat*